a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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