She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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