I'm gonna have a badass scar
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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