That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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