I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
