theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
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