So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
