Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
my poor anus
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
