We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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