There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
