I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
and you fell through a lawn chair
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
