god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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