New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
