pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize