I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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