It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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