My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
