Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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