I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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