Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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