but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
not ubering you a puppy
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
