My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
