I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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