just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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