I have demons in me.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
