): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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