How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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