is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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