the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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