ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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