the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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