i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
