Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize