Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
