Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
