That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
