So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
They took my balls.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
