then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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