I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
