She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
