i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
