Having a random hookup so left but love u
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
