her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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