I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize