you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize