Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
