he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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