break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize