Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
