need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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