So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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