My cat gives me a boner
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
