so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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