If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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