It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
