I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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