Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
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