i can't believe i had my finger in that
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Vodka?
Forever.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
