My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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